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These are some tips for dads by dads. You may find contact with others who have gone through similar experiences as you a valuable source of support.

• You will be confused about your feelings – it is normal to feel hurt, angry and worried about the future
• Have confidence to ask for help and not to worry about what others think
• Speak up - keep asking questions
• Make use of local services like Carers Centre’s or Citizens Advice Bureau
• When you get the opportunity for time out, just take it
• If you don't look after yourself you will collapse and a lack of sleep may cause rows and stress
• It's important to look at the child not the condition; the same condition might mean varying disabilities in different children
• Give yourself a role, if you don’t you will be sidelined
• Be prepared to ask difficult questions, sometimes the answers are clear sometimes less so
• Try to be positive but also say you are upset when you are – you are allowed to be human
• You may need to make yourself unpopular with people who ‘don’t understand’ explain clearly that you are learning too
• Take time off from work
• Be strong and resolute for your partner, be a shoulder to cry on
• Be proud of your child and realise their potential
• It's hard to tell others about disability and why should we? It is sometimes best to let the child explain themselves
• Don't brush disability under the carpet
• Know your rights with your employer.

If you need more information

• Contact our helpline
• Fathers guide